THE MAG--- HE PLAYS THE BASS

EVER GO TO A COOPER SHOW AND LOSE YOUR WALLET? LEAVE THE CLUB TO FIND YOUR CAR MISSING? GET HOME AND FIND YOUR HOUSE ROBBED? CHANCES ARE THAT ONE MAN WAS RESPONSIBLE. HE GOT GOLD CHAINS. HE GOT A NICE CAR. HE GOT A LOTTA WOMENS. BUT HE GOT NO GREEN CARD SO HE STAY LOW. HE IS THE MAG, BASS PLAYER FOR COOPER'S DIGNITY. WHAT IS KNOWN IS THIS, IN 1974 JAUN CARLOS ORLANDO JESUS DIAZ SANTANA RODRIGUEZ THE 3RD A.K.A. FLACO PUTA DECIDED HE WANTED A BETTER LIFE FOR HIS FAMILY. SO HE TOSSED HIMSELF AND HIS KIN INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO AND SAID ADIOS MEXICO, HOLA U.S. UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO THE FACT HE WAS ALWAYS DRUNK, HE FORGOT TO TEACH THEM HOW TO SWIM AND THEY ALL DIED EXCEPT FOR HIS YOUNGEST SON WHO WAS SAVED WHEN HE GOT TANGLED IN A CLAM NET. THAT SON WAS THE MAG. HE EVENTUALLY WOUND UP IN L.A. SELLING ORANGES ON THE FREEWAY. IN 1977, HE SOLD A BAG OF ORANGES TO THE MAN WHO WOULD CHANGE HIS LIFE. WE CANNOT REVEAL THAT MAN'S NAME DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE IS A WELL KNOWN CRIMINAL FIGURE AND WILL TORTURE AND KILL ALL OF US, BUT HE INTRODUCED THE MAG TO SOMETHING THAT CHANGED HIS LIFE FOREVER, COCAINE. THE MAG BEGAN SELLING SMACK ON THE STREETS AT AGE 7 AND BY THE TIME HE WAS 9 HE WAS ONE OF THERE BEST EARNERS IN AL LOS ANGELES. HE WAS THEN SENT BY HIS BOSSES TO THE EAST COAST TO SET UP SHOP. BY AGE 11 HE WAS LEADING HIS OWN CARTEL. IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME HE MET THE EYEPATCH AND THE INK. (SEE COOPER BIO FOR THAT STORY) HE WAS IN AND OUT OF JUVI HALLS FOR MOST OF HIS TEEN LIFE. HE WAS ALSO DEPORTED ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. HE DICSCOVERD MUSIC WHILE SERVING TIME AT THE CHARLES NELSON REILY HOME FOR WAYWARD BOYS. HE ENJOYED PLAYING AND FIGURED IT WOULD BE A GOOD COVER FOR HIS DRUG BUSINESS. PLUS, WOMEN LOVE TWO THINGS MORE THAN ANYTHING. GUYS WHO PLAY IN ROCK BANDS AND COCAINE. HE GOT THEM BOTH CHICO.

DID YOU KNOW? THE MAG DESPISES THE EYPATCH MORE THAN ANY ONE IN THIS
WORLD. HE WOULD RATHER WORK FOR THE D.E.A. THAN WORK WITH THE EYEPATCH. BUT HE IS A BUSINESS MAN AND TOLERATES HIM FOR THE MONEY. AND THE CHICAS

WHAT THE MAG LIKES
FAVORITE SHOW- SABADO GIGANTE
FAVORITE DRINK- PRESIDENTE
FAVORITE MUSICIAN- IRIS CHACON
FAVORITE ACTOR- ANTONIO BANDERAS
FAVORITE ACTRESS- JENNIFER LOPEZ (FOR HER PORTRAYAL OF SELINA)
FAVORITE DANCE- THE LAMBADA (THE FORBIDDEN DANCE, CHICO)
FAVORITE SINGER-JULIO INGLESIAS Sr. (NOT Jr., JUNIOR IS A BENDEJO)

THE MAG'S DREAM WOULD BE- TO WAKE UP HEARING THE HIMALAYAS HAVE TURNED
INTO COCAINE AND TO GO TO BED HEARING "TONIGHT ON THE NEWS, THE EYPATCH HAS BEEN FOUND DEAD"

Aug 30 2008

Cooper Under New Management!

Cooper has been picked up by Sean Hollywood Entertainment! Share your thoughts on this exciting development from the Cooper camp!

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Apr 24 2007

Requests!

What is it you want to hear suckas? Post your requsts here! And whatever else
you want to say.

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Dec 12 2006

What have the fellas in Cooper's Dignity been up to? Can we expect any shows in the near future?

Your 3 fans (Well 1 fan if you exclude the bulldogs) are wondering if Cooper has any plans to tour the shit hole that is Northern Jersey any time soon.

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